Halloween Movie Fun: The Scary vs. The Scarry

When it comes to horror movies, there are basically two kinds - the ones that scare you, and the ones that scar you. The scary ones make you jump in your seat, give you a good case of the willies, and then leave you alone. I would call Halloween a scary movie. It startled me a good number of times, and I nearly dropped my teeth at the end. You know that moment of calm after Jamie Lee Curtis stabs Michael Myers with the knitting needle and he falls out the window? And then she looks outside again and he's GONE? I thought I would die. That's still one of the creepiest things I've ever seen, but the important thing is that the fear didn't stick. After the movie was over and the lights were back on, I didn't really worry about Michael Myers showing up and terrorizing me. Nor did I worry that my own secret brother would one day break out of an asylum and find me. I figured that was pretty much Jamie Lee's problem.

Scarry movies, on the other hand, haunt you well after the credits roll. They generate phobias and paranoia, and they keep you up at night. The following movies scarred me for life. I've listed them in the order they traumatized me:

Cat's Eye

Any normal kid would have been terrified by the troll living in little Drew Barrymore's wall, but not me. I was so messed up by the Quitter's Inc. segment that it didn't even bother me. I'd already considered the fact that there might be goblins and ghouls lurking in the dark corners of my room, but I had never entertained the idea that hearing the song "Every Breath You Take" could mean that someone was actually watching. This was the case for poor James Woods, who just wanted to do right by his family and quit smoking. Little did he know that he was signing a contract with the mob, and that the slightest slip would mean dire consequences for his wife and daughter. For years I dreaded turning on the radio when I was dressing for fear that this song would be playing. I just KNEW it would mean that someone (possibly even Sting) could see me, even with the door shut and the drapes closed.

The Dark Crystal

Remember when the little Gelflings hold hands and they don't even need to tell each other their life stories because they can read each other's minds? To this day I half-wonder if people can read my mind when they're holding my hand. Seriously. I know it's silly and stupid, but I do.

Friday the 13th

I'll bet you're waiting for me to say that I'm still terrified of Jason in his hockey mask. Hah! Friday the 13th was a somewhat obscure television show about two cousins who inherit a store full of cursed antiques. They spend every episode trying to track down the strays before anyone gets hurt. (Think China patterns that spring to life and strangle people, demented dolls, etc.) I still have very strong ideas about which antiques are and are not haunted, and in my mind, 99% of them are.

Signs

I love Signs, but I have to watch it through my fingers. When I saw it in the theater, the Surround Sound made it seem like aliens were skittering around in the walls behind us, and by the time they finally showed the alien at the birthday party, my friend and I were laughing uncontrollably to keep ourselves from screaming. I can't remember ever being so scared at a movie, and when it was over, we had to walk around the grocery store as a mental palate cleanser. After several laps around the frozen food section, we finally worked up the courage to drive ourselves home in the dark. I laid awake half the night thinking about the noises on the roof, worrying about that family, and wondering when the aliens would show up at my house. Then when it came out on DVD, I bought it. What can I say? It's got Mel and Joaquin in it, it makes me cry, and I like it when Joaquin says the kids should be off playing "Furry Furry Rabbit".

The Mothman Prophecies

The Mothman Prophecies is especially distressing because it's based on true events. I still haven't recovered from Debra Messing driving into that horrible Mothman on that dark road, and then developing a fatal brain tumor. "Oh look! She's drawing angels." No, you idiots, she's drawing the stupid MOTHMAN! I drive home from work on a road with hardly any streetlights, and I'm always waiting for the Mothman to float out of the trees and whoosh into my brain. I didn't sleep a wink the night I watched this movie.

And now it's your turn. Which movies scared you? Which ones scarred you for life? Head on down to the comments section and let us know.